Raycroft Diagnosed with Narcolepsy, Shitty Play Explained!
Andrew Raycroft has been unofficially diagnosed* with narcolepsy, there by explaining the problems the Leafs’ tender has been facing throughout his stint with the team. Raycroft, initially thought to be just a piece of crap goalie, now has some redemption after the discovery that he is suffering from the neurological disorder causing uncontrollable sleepiness.
Imagine yourself as an NHL goalie, staring down an odd man rush, or a player winding up at the blue line for a slapper. The shot is released, the puck is coming and then without notice you black out, struck by an uncontrollable bout of narcolepsy. You wake up a fraction of a second later, unsure of what’s happened, but it’s too late. The red light is on.
It must be terrible for the poor guy, but we have to wonder if maybe there’s more to it than just Raycroft. We theorize that perhaps the unofficial diagnosis is wrong. Perhaps instead of narcolepsy, Raycroft, and the entire team, have been exposed to the dreaded African Sleeping Sickness! Spread by the bite of the tsetse fly, an outbreak of African Sleeping Sickness could explain why the entire team always seems so laxidasical and miss so many plays. How the Leafs could’ve been exposed to the tsetse fly, we don’t know. However I think it’s safe to say that the Ottawa Senators are most likely responsible.
All we can do now is hope that Leafs Team Dr. Noah Forman is reading this site, and that he realizes that the Leafs aren’t underachievers, but are instead victims of an exotic disease. Dr. Forman will have to begin treatment ASAP if this team is to salvage its’ lofty goal of missing the playoffs in 9th place instead of last. Until then, all we can do is pray.
* Diagnosis not based on medical knowledge or evidence.
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